Saturday, May 14, 2011

How To Start a Conversation With A Girl

The right way to start talking to girls

When you're figuring out what to say to a girl, and what questions to ask her, you basically have two options: open ended questions and close ended questions.  These are examples of open questions. Open questions are great for beginning the conversation, and they also come in handy for enhanced dialogue in case the conversatin becomes stagnant.


Your chances of getting past the first 10 seconds of interaction increases dramatically when you start with an open-ended question.


What is an open question? This is any question that cannot be answered by a simple "Yes" or "No." They require a more detailed response.


Here are some examples of questions that are not open-ended. These questions are generally answered with only one word and so you should avoid asking these questions if it's the first time talking to a girl you like


• How are you today?
• Do you need any help with this?
• Can I help you find something?
• Do you come here often?


So what is the problem with this type of close-ended question? Actually nothing. The above examples are good interactions with the girls. But you want more than just basic communication – you want to talk.


Open ended questions are great for getting girls to talk. They allow you to keep the conversation flowing.


And the best part? You can come up with your question to fit the occasion.


For example if you see a girl at the gym, you might ask, "What kind of exercises do you do here?" But if you're in the grocery store, you might say, "I've never tried that fruit before.  How does it taste?"


Now this is not to say you should put off the closed questions altogether. They come in handy sometimes when you're with a girl like when you ask for her name (which is what you will hopefully ask at some point).


Remember, first impressions are everything, so try to be prepared to make your first impression. I'll share some examples of open questions in future post, so be sure to check back soon.


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Friday, April 1, 2011

Compliments for Girls Are Not Often Recommended

Compliments for girls only work under certain situations: 1) when the girl is currently attracted to you, 2) if the compliment is very subtle and out of the blue, and 3) when you are already in a relationship with the girl.

When the girl is currently attracted to you
The effectiveness of your compliment is primarily reliant on if she is or is not interested in you. When she isn't interested in to you, compliments can diminish your attractiveness. Supposing that the girl you might be complimenting is either extremely hot or in high demand, throwing her a compliment will categorize you as unoriginal and predictable. Since they've got no other ways of attracting attractive girls, unoriginal and predictable guys excessively compliment in exchange for attention from girls that already receive the same ineffective compliments from all of the other guys she's around.

If the girl is interested in you, compliments could possibly enhance your charm. In cases like this, you can decide to compliment or not compliment whatsoever dependent on on whether you want her to be more or less attracted to you. Usually, when the girl likes you already, and when you want her to like you more, it is possible to slip in a compliment every now and then, but do not overdo it or otherwise the compliments can possibly seem contrived and they will lose their effectiveness. When she already likes you, but when you don't want her to like you more, do not compliment her in any way. Complimenting her only will mislead her to bitterness.  And since girls talk--alot--you will not get her on your bad side, but also the 30 other girls she badmouths you about. 

If the compliment is very subtle and out of the blue
Subtle and out of the blue compliments for girls work if you are usually recognized to not hand out compliments and if you have known her for some time. The point is, when you do compliment her, you need to compliment sparingly and only after you've known her for a while and she has known you for a while . The compliment will come as a pleasant surprise for her. On the other hand, when you compliment too soon and if you both haven't know each other for a while, compliments like “You are so gorgeous,” runs you the potential risk of instantly lowering your value to her because you just gave her what that she wanted and what she expected from any guy that she considers unoriginal and predictable. After she knows that you're interested in her, the game will no longer be enjoyable for her. Make her work for her compliments.

When you are already in a relationship with the girl
If you are currently in a long term relationship with the girl, this is when you could and should truly compliment. This is very similar to when the girl is currently attracted to you. When you are currently in a long term relationship with the girl, then obviously the girl is currently attracted to you. The fact is, women love compliments. They would love for you to compliment them. But does that mean you should constantly give them what they want, when they want it? No. Why? Because women--and men--want what they can’t have. But when you currently have her and she currently has you, you'll be able to compliment when appropriate, but again, don’t overdo it.

Learning how to be attractive to women takes time, but if you're willing to take the time necessary to learn about things such as whether or not to compliments for girls, in time you will  get there.